Thursday, July 2, 2015

The Bank Needs a Triage System

Don't be that guy. At least don't come to Backroads and be that guy. That guy who pulls into the bank's drive-thru lane, but not all the way up to the canister-sucker, and sits there, holding the spot, preventing others from using it.

Don't be that guy. The one who tempts me to pull in behind him, because the other drive-thru lane has a line. Don't come down here to my little bank with only three drive-thru lanes, and one of them always closed. Don't. Just don't. Especially on a day when I'm in a hurry.

Don't be that guy who finally finishes balancing his checkbook for the very first time since he started working, his retirement having gone into effect July 1st. That guy who is counting out his money, which he should have done in his counting house, while the queen was eating bread and honey, and the maid was hanging out the clothes, about to be de-nosed by a blackbird. That guy who succumbs to narcolepsy, grows a long white beard, and answers to Rip Van Winkle through the vacuum-tube speaker.

I SPENT 15 MINUTES WAITING IN LINE BEHIND ONE CAR!

My transaction took ONE MINUTE. Uh huh. All I had to do was deposit a check. I did not tarry to play a game of tic tac toe (best 13 out of 25, apparently) like that guy ahead of me, what with putting something in the canister, sending it in, taking something out, putting something back, sending it in again, etc.

Don't be that guy.

Don't be that guy if Val is close enough to get ahold of you!

11 comments:

  1. He apparently didn't know that you could have gone all "teacher" on his a** and he would been soooo messed up.

    Goin' "teacher" is way worse than goin' postal.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Don't I know it!

      However, after my previous bank incident, backing into the meth-beard man and his muscular dog on a chain...I try to hold it together at the bank.

      Delete
  2. Oooh that would make me angry. I never use the drive through, I always go in the bank...otherwise I might just be that guy.

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    Replies
    1. I'm willing to venture that your bank has more than two tellers. Because mine does not, and we have to line up out the door while we wait a respectable distance, to jump to the window that is open next. Uh huh. Like your grocery store less-items lines nightmare.

      Delete
  3. I'm NOT that guy. I get in and out as quickly as possible.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Stephen--Women sooooo appreciate men who get in and out quickly.

      Delete
    2. Oh, dear. Madam is illustrating in shades of gray.

      Cover your eyes, Stephen! Pay her no mind. She's off to France soon, and she's gone all racy on us.

      Delete
  4. Oooooohhhh, the rating level just dropped down to an R I think!

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    Replies
    1. I am reminded of a little ditty that goes something like this:

      I see France...I see St. Louis Cardinals manager Jose Oquendo...
      I see Madam's innuendo!

      Delete
  5. There are all kind of jerks in lines, especially bank. I'm surprised you didn't go postal.

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    Replies
    1. Postal? Are you saying that I smell like a dead mouse?

      Delete